Vanilla

2013…Looking back Sept – Dec

September 2013: Ahhh September.

August 30 – Sept 2nd: I began Labor Day Weekend off at FetFest. I’d post photos, but uh, it was illegal to take any so….I don’t have any. Ahem. JT and I went and got to pitch the super awesome yellow tent he bought for the occassion. There was so much naked. You have no idea. SO. MUCH. NAKED! We were naked pretty much from the start. It was so hot out, that was our only option. After tenting the first night on a path leading to the woods, we moved our tent so as to avoid more spider fueled panic attacks from me. I am severely agoraphobic. Then we tented near Powder & GlitterBunny, two of my favorite people. It was four days of…to be honest, anxiety and stress. JT and I weren’t communicating properly which lead to a lot of hurt feelings and The Period of Not Good Times. A lot of fun was had though. I massaged with another cool massage therapist and made some money. I experienced amazing inclusion and woke up to the sounds of people having sex and orgasms…pretty much 24/7. ¬†It was an awesome experience.

Sept 8th – The week after I got back from FetFest was spent preparing for school, falling into a new, lighter work schedule, and involved me sending a message to someone I’d been lightly corresponding with on FetLife. Honestly, he’d sent me maybe 3-4 messages prior to this, about various things and our interactions were…minimal and kind of insignificant. Conversational. So I knew he was out of the city for the summer and messaged him asking if he was back and if so, would he like to get coffee. He said sure. Conveniently, was on his way to the airport right near my own apartment so I was on the way. He met me at my favorite coffee place and if I hadn’t had to go to work, I imagine it would have lasted a lot longer than it did. But neither of us thought anything of it really. I texted him later that I enjoyed meeting him and I’d love to talk and play sometime in the future.

Sept 22nd – With company for a week, there was a lot of texting, but not much else. A short film I was in made it to the Coney Island Film festival and I invited him to come with me. We had a lot of fun. We arrived early and grabbed a drink and a snack. My time slot was actually the “Adult” slot, even though there was only a very tame sex scene (not with me – stock footage!). Afterwards we went to the candy store and looked around. I bought some. Then we walked along the boardwalk for a while. Eventually he had to leave for a meeting and I went to the awards show.

Sept 28th – We made brunch plans for a Sunday and that morning, while texting, I said “Can we do 1?” I had a pie to bake! Strawberry peach, to be exact. Our brunch was delicious and we then walked through the Union Square Farmers Market. It was a beautiful day. So so so beautiful. Then, as we walked, I said “So, I baked a pie this morning. You wanna come over and have some?” We were near a hard cider stand and he said “Why don’t I get a bottle of this, to go with the pie?” Woot! See, seducing a man with pie is the best way ūüėČ At my house, we had pie with ice cream and watched A Dangerous Method. The cider was a nice touch. While we watched the movie, on my couch, we drifted closer together. Then he held my hand. *swoon* I felt like I was in HS. Later, I walked him to the bus and we parted with a hug. When I got home, I sent the following text: “So that was kind of like a date, right?” And his response came and had me dancing around my livingroom “Definitely.”

This whole thing took us both by surprise. He was not looking for a relationship at all, and I had recently stopped actively dating, instead deciding to let what would happen, happen. And it did. Our first really *intentional* date was on October 3rd. There were tacos and margaritas, and two more stops in the neighborhood for beer. It lasted hours and we closed down a local beer place. He walked me home, both of us a little buzzed, and kissed me. I floated for the next 24 hours.

October was even more of a whirlwind, and by November he was coming to my moms wedding with me. He spent Thanksgiving with my family and my brothers extended family. By the time it was time for him to return home to his own family for Christmas for a few weeks, we were solidly attached. It was a difficult 3 weeks for us both by his home coming on New Years Eve was worth the separation. We couldn’t stop touching each other – even just holding hands – but mostly the spanking…and other things ūüėČ

And thus, I rung in the New Year with this amazing man who I love so much, and some good friends.

I know it’s late but I only hope your New Years was as awesome as mine was!

– Marie

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2013…Looking back on January – August

Well, 2014 is quickly approaching. It’s interesting to look back on the year. Facebook certainly helps a lot, but old texts, blog post drafts, etc. also help. There’s a monthly run down after the jump…pictures included!

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Tis The Season

It is officially 3 days until Christmas. Well, I’m writing this and it’s still Sunday so it’s 3 days! By the time it’s posted and anyone reads it, it’l be Monday probably.

It’s been a week and a half since Understated left for home for Christmas and I miss him terribly. I know he’ll be back, but still! I’m already looking forward to next year, when I can wake up next to him and we can open presents together in person vs. over skype – which is our current plan. I haven’t been spanked since at least a day or two before he left and I really got used to being spanked regularly!!

I’ve been spending a lot of time with my family though. Two days after he left I visited my grandparents in NJ to hang out with my adorable little cousin for a while. It was a nice reprieve but I had to come home because I had to work. Now I am back for the week for Christmas. I’ll be going to my moms on Christmas Eve and then come back to the city probably the 27th. I wish I could travel at will but I am sadly at the whims of other people as rides and public transportation. Otherwise I’d come home the day after Christmas and enjoy my naked solitude!

Then I’m having a little spanking get together with my closest friends – basically I want all my favorite people around to spank me, and some girl-y friends to share cake and shenanigans with. It makes me sad that D can’t be here, but with both of my roommates out of town, I rarely get a chance so will go ahead with party planning. We have a lot of fun planned once he’s back.

I also reached out this weekend, to someone I had never spent a lot of time with before. Someone I’d seen at parties in passing and who has always always been kind to me – especially on Fetlife. We met up while she is in town and galavanted around my neighborhood and did ALL the talking. I’m so glad I reached out and got to know her. I so easily judge by what I see, that I need to remember to take a step back, and interact with people, and give them a chance. I won’t ignore my senses which have thus far ALWAYS been correct, but I really want to make more of an effort to make friends.

I’ve been reflecting a lot on the last year. A lot has happened. It feels like far longer than a year! I’m planning a bigger post with a reflection on the year that I will post sometime between Christmas and New Years. Also, I maybe will write about the SSNY Christmas Party, too.

For now, I leave you with my adorable new stripey socks. Rainbow socks are D’s favorite so I ordered a few pair ūüėČ I cannot wait for him to come home and do ALL the naughty things to me while I wear them. And only them!

photo

And one more for good measure. Merry Christmas!

merryxmas

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All The Updates!

I have two posts in drafts that I really want to finish, but damn, school is keeping me massively busy. It’s my first semester back in a few years, and it’s kickin’ my ass!

You see, I have a Ray of Sunshine in my life and he likes to assign over the top projects and other busy work to make himself feel like he’s doing his job. I think the skills I am learning in this class are extremely valuable, but I cannot move beyond having a terrible professor. Thankfully, it’ll all be over December 6th. In the meantime, a LOT has happened.

1. I met an amazing guy. He is my boyfriend. He spanks me (!!). He likes brunch. I am ever so fond of him!

2. My mom got hitched! It was kind of awesome.

3. My youngest brother is now a heroin addict. He’s turned into a terrible person because of it. It’s sad.

4. I’m getting spanked at least semi-regularly.

5. I have some pretty exciting new life goals!

6. I am happy.

Now, I should probably get back to finishing this study guide for my RoS because I fell asleep while doing it last night, and have been up since almost 4am (it’s nearly 5) working to complete it.

– Marie

Categories: Life, relationships, Spanking, Vanilla | 1 Comment

Reading The Ethical Slut, Part 1.1

Normally, I’m a quick reader. I made it through nearly all of the Harry Potter books with non-stop 24 hour reading. I’ve never been a big fan of non-fiction, however, as my reading needs to slow down so comprehension goes up. It took me a few days to make it through the first six chapters, also Part 1, of The Ethical Slut. That said, I really enjoyed it and I can’t wait to move on to Part 2. The general message of the first six chapters is the who and what regarding ethical sluthood. I starred quotes and passages that really stood out to me, so the format I will take, is to share one, then talk about it. The first passage is from chapter 1 in the section titled “Sexual Adventurers”

“We see ourselves as people who are committed to finding a place of sanity with sex and¬†relationships¬† and to freeing ourselves to enjoy sex and sexual love in as many ways as may fit for reach of us. We may not always know what fits without trying it on, so we tend to be curious and adventurous. When we see someone who intrigues us, we like to feel free to respond, and, as we explore our response, to discover whatever is special about this new, fascinating person. We life relating to people and are quite gregarious, enjoying the company o different kinds of people, and reveling in how our differences expand our horizons and offer us new ways to be ourselves” (pg 5-6)

This stood out because it’s a mindset I’ve struggled with in past relationships. Being monogamous has meant there were more limits on how and when I could explore another fascinating person – especially within the kink world. I love surrounding myself with such an array of people – my friends don’t fit into a neat little mold of all being from the same place or being into the same things.¬†The majority of my scene friends in relationships or marriages, are ok with their partners playing non-sexually. That is, spanking or BDSM play that does not include intercourse or genital touching. I’ve always wanted to take my spanking play further, with specific partners who were open to it. For me, I had never done that outside of a committed monogamous relationship, so it seemed odd. Society said that wasn’t proper behavior for a respectable lady. It’s a line of thought I grew up with. Then, once I was in a relationship, maybe that partner wasn’t interested in exploring the exact same thing I was. Then it was the flip side – someone “in a relationship” doesn’t have needs met outside of that relationship – or so I’d always been told/taught to think.

This brings me to part of the reason why I decided to read The Ethical Slut and start this re-teaching of myself. I met someone over the summer who I just think is the coolest person ever. I also remember that one of the first things I said to him was “Oh, I’m not poly” when he asked if I was going to a local event called Poly Cocktails. It was my default reaction. I’ve been thinking about what I said since then. Why was I so quick to point it out? Perhaps out of fear; fear of something that my upbringing and society told me wasn’t going to make me happy.

In the last several months, though, I’ve been thinking more and more – hey maybe it COULD make me happy. If I stop limiting myself, and start enjoying the people in my life for what and who they are. I’d love to be someone’s priority, but I need to re-evaluate what that means. Being someone’s priority doesn’t mean being their ONLY priority, and vice versa.

In chapter two, The Ethical Slut spoke about the shame and taboo that is often associated with sex. I wasn’t brought up with any specific religious teachings and my mom didn’t push¬†abstinence¬† we mostly didn’t talk about sex at all. I thought I was a freak when I started masturbating at the age of 6 and then when I realized I was kinky, I was horrified of myself. Then I found the internet. I feel like this quote would be more appropriate for someone else, but I identify with it a bit.

“But human nature will win out. We are horny creatures, and the more sexually repressive a culture becomes, the more outrageous its covert sexual thoughts and behaviors will become, as any fan of Victorian porn can attest.” (pg 10)

I think that the concept of love for many, is one I already practice. I find it’s difficult for me to NOT have love for people I spend a lot of time with. Typically, if I am choosing to spend time with someone, it’s because I like them. I see them as an asset to my life, and I’d like to think I am to theirs as well. I definitely love my friends. Some of the males, a bit more romantically. That doesn’t mean I’m in love with them. That said, I’ve always assumed that’s how everyone felt about “just friends” but it’s not. The people I consider “just friends” by societies definition, are more along the line of¬†acquaintances. The rest of my friends are more like BFFs who I’d do anything for. Why would I spend my time with anyone else? I wouldn’t have known poly if it hit me in the face.

No one in my life could explain it to me, even now. No one would even know what I was talking about – or they would think I was crazy, trying to do something so completely unconventional. This is probably what stood out the most from Part 1 for me.

“We are pacing new roads across new territory. We have no culturally approved Scripts for open sexual lifesryles; we need to write out own. To write your own script requires a lot of effort, and a lot of honesty, and is the kind of hard work that brings many rewards. You may find the right way for you, and three years from now decide you want to live a different way — and that’s fine. You write the script, you get to make the choices, and you get to change your mind, too.” (pg 11)

So, we’re all winging it. Figuring it out as we go along. And I’m no different. I’ve known one “way of life” for the last 24 years, and more recently in my adult dating life, 6 years. There is so much more that stood out to me in reading Part 1 but this post is a great intro and covers a lot of important things for me, so I’m going to tie it up here and talk about the rest in Part 1.2.

– Marie

Categories: Lemons, Life, New Experiences, poly, polyamory, relationships, Spanking, Vanilla | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Advent Blog Day 8: 33 an counting

Wait…33 what? Hours.

I’ve been awake.

But it ends at 33. I’m going to sleep. Sorry day 8 wasn’t more interesting. Well, it kind of was for me. I’ll write more about it tomorrow, when I can brain.

– Marie

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Advent Blog Day 7: Work

So I love my job. I’m a massage therapist and one of the places I work, while not that specific place, but in general, is my dream job. I was massively excited when I was told I got the job and couldn’t wait to start. I was going to be hired for a very specific shift plus covering for others, off site gigs, and eventually more shifts.

But then I was told the shift wasn’t available but they still wanted to hire me. So I’d be coverage and do the offsite gigs. I figured this would lead to a shift eventually. Hopefully sooner rather than later. Knowing it would lead to more is what made me say yes with no true guarantee of hours. I started working a lot though with gigs. Then I was offered my very own shift after about 4 months. It would be a four hour shift once a week. Yay! Guaranteed hours!

A week later I get a text that they accidentally gave that shift to someone else and didn’t realize it but would like to offer me a three hour shift on Wednesday, 5-8. Ugh. Three hours at the end of the day, in the city. I had no reason to say no so I said yes – I’m on my way home from this shift now. I usually have one maybe two, clients. Which means I do a lot of sitting around. This is, essentially a “we fucked up” pity shift. They don’t really need someone to work this three hours, I’m delegated to a treatment room that is small, noisy, and across the office from the rest.

Yesterday I was offered an awesome three day chair gig that I simply couldn’t turn down. I got coverage for next weeks shift and told my guy I could do the gig. It’s a great opportunity and at least double the money (for one day!) for that three hours. I told my boss someone was covering my shift next week and she says to be “You’re supposed to give two weeks but ok” – no one told me that but the fact that she acts like my shift is important (when I have one person!) kind of got under my skin. Don’t pretend my shift is invaluable and my being there is crucial. I found coverage, be happy I didn’t just call in sick. The only good thing about this place is the pay and the people. Otherwise it kind of gets to me an in hoping for another similar office to hire me so I can quit.

Edit: Also, the office has christmas stockings (cheap ones, but still) hanging near the treatment rooms with the peoples names on them that usually use that room. I don’t have one, and apparently neither does the other girl who is a bit less new than me. Apparently “no stockings for noobs” >.< Fuck that shit! I won’t be there by next Christmas though, so I guess I’m glad they didn’t waste their money on a cheap dollar store stocking for me.

I went into massage so I wouldn’t have jobs that made me feel this way – frustrated and resentful. But since I quit my other job (long story) I can’t give this up without a replacement and chair gigs are just not reliable enough to be a replacement for it all.

 

Anyway, I haven’t been feeling well lately so I hope to get a decent nights sleep tonight so tomorrow is productive.

This is it for Advent Blog day 7 – what is that, 17 days to go?

– Marie

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Advent Blog Day 6: Dexter

Do any of you guys watch the show Dexter? I recently started it, and am just about to watch Season 3 episode 1. I had a nice discovery in season 2. I won’t give away anything huge, but it was the hottest mainstream spanking moment I’ve ever seen. Go ahead, watch it. Episode 8. But I highly recommend the¬†preceding¬†season and 7 episodes!

Sorry I don’t have more, I’ve had a migraine for a few days and am kind of out of it.

– Marie

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Advent Blog Day 5: Spanking Thanksgiving

Last week I spent Thanksgiving with a very dear spanking friend. Well, most of it anyway. He was one of my favorite spanking authors for years and we’ve been pretty close the last several. This was my first time meeting him though. I drove down to where he lives and stayed with him. While he had a lot of work to do, we had fun. He spanked me the first day, and I made him a sammich! Go me!

I also spent some time with my friend and his family. That was also pretty awesome. We went out a few nights, stayed in, and it was all great. Then on Thanksgiving, I cooked for my friend, C, and I. A turkey, mashed potatoes, broccoli salad, and deviled eggs. And biscuits. And cookies. And a pumpkin pie! It was all delicious and there was much picture taking (they’re on Facebook for my vanilla-spanko) cross over friends. And there was spanking. I took a pretty hard belt spanking from C one night, it was perfect. Not too much. And it was over my jammie pants. I LOVE bedtime spankings over my jammie pants!!

After we ate and lounged around lazy for a while, I went and had a SECOND thanksgiving with my friends family. Cooked some more, played with a hyperactive 7 year old, and had her help me bake cookies. All in all, a good thanksgiving. I actually did miss my mom and family this year for the first time ever, so I’m hoping Christmas is a good one.

– Marie

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Advent Blog Day 4: Party Time!

Really, I went to two parties last night. The first was the annual SSNY holiday party. It was a great party with a great crowd – a really awesome turn out. There were a lot of new faces, and a lot of out of town guests which is always nice to see. I brought my chocolate cake and the pumpkin pie and both seemed to go over well. I played once with an old friend, and it was nice. I played last week during a Thanksgiving trip visiting a spanko friend (I’ll write more about that tomorrow for Day 5!) but before that my last spanking was in late October. It was a nice spanking. Just what I needed. And not more than I can take. Although, it did leave me wanting a bit more of his belt. Perhaps a play date in the near future.

After the SSNY party, I headed downtown for a friends birthday. It was at this great bar near Wall Street on a street you can’t drive down because it’s narrow and cobblestoned. Truly fantastic, makes me wish I got to see NYC back in the days when all streets were cobblestone! Much alcohol was consumed – hard cider and shots and it was really awesome to see one of my best friends from massage school. It was her boyfriend whose birthday we were celebrating. I didn’t get home until nearly 4am so it’s a good thing I blogged Day 3 before the fun started last night! I slept in, was lazy and went and had a massage from a friend earlier today. It was fantastic. We trade, and I’ll get her back tomorrow.

Anyway, I don’t have a ton more to say – except that my roommate is a little crazy. He’s a good guy though so it’s not really bad crazy. Just a bit…OCD.

– Marie

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