Well, 2014 is quickly approaching. It’s interesting to look back on the year. Facebook certainly helps a lot, but old texts, blog post drafts, etc. also help. There’s a monthly run down after the jump…pictures included!
That was the sound of me falling asleep and falling onto the floor.
The last three months have been INTENSE. My semester was only 12 weeks the way my school does it, with a 6 week session coming up in Jan/Feb, but I was loaded. I was taking five classes (General Psych, Eng 101, Critical Thinking, Community Health, and Freshman Seminar) and I acquired an extra job mid-semester which brought my total up to four. I work in two locations, have my own private practice (although, I don’t see a ton of clients that way), and I am now a writing tutor.
Between all of that and my newfound social life, I’ve had an exhausting – but amazing – fall. The payout will be worth it though. Even with a probably B+ in one of my classes, I will still likely have a 3.8. This is good because I am hoping to transfer to a four year school sooner, rather than later, and I’ve got an ivy-league on my list!
The semester is finally over and I have one last week of tying up loose ends with finals and my on campus job, then it’s a few weeks off from school work. Understated (this is what we’ll be referring to the boy as…or D) leaves soon to go back to where he’s from to take care of some things and visit family for Christmas. It’s going to be very difficult to be without him for 3 weeks but he is home just in time for NYE and we have a mini-getaway planned for my birthday that weekend.
Last night was the annual SSNY Christmas party and it was a lot of fun. I was a little saddened that a few people I wanted to play with, didn’t ask or told me a variation of “maybe later” and didn’t follow up. It was our first party together so that made it a bit of a learning experience for us both – not bad, just navigating waters that I haven’t been in for a very long time (since Max, really). I am sore after playing with, of course, Understated, an amazing English gentleman, a new friend I met a few months ago who is in the states for an internship (we’ll call him…V), and last but not least, Rad.
I thoroughly enjoyed all the play I got, but shyness + social anxiety is making me overthink the party and wonder why so few people asked me to play.
For now, I am going to go to sleep. D and I spent the day out by having brunch, going to Barnes & Noble, the Union Square Holiday Market, and the Strand. We then went home where I cooked dinner. Then he spanked me quite hard with the hairbrush and I cried.
I’ll leave the rest of the evening up to your imagination!
Five years ago this summer, I attended my first Shadow Lane party. It was extremely exciting and exhilarating. Below is the report I wrote for that party. Reading this, and other reports from first Shadow Lane parties (here and here) has me reminiscing and thinking about how much I’ve changed. I wasn’t even ME back then. I wasn’t Marie. I was Kate James. I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t. I wrote this on my then blog, a Live Journal (90% of the photo links are broken), which is still live by the way. I refuse to delete it or change it, because it’s important that it be there for me to see into my past. I’d share the second part of the party report I wrote for that, but it’s on the LJ and a horrifically embarrassing essay from a completely terrified, insecure, and depressed 18 year old me! Below is the first part of the party report I wrote.
That Shadow Lane, which took place the summer of 2007, when I was 18 and had already shot with Clare Fonda, Chelsea Pfieffer, Kelly Payne, and Northern Spanking, was a turning point for me. It’s when I first started to realize I wasn’t really Kate. It, unfortunately, took me a lot longer to come to know who I actually was, but I eventually introduced myself to Marie, and fell in love with the person I knew she could be.
On Friday I headed out to a nearby Mall with my dear friend Bella. We were on a mission to find the perfect dress. Four hours, 17 dresses, 4 pairs of shoes, and some leggings later, I had the dress. It was short, coral pink and satiny. My shoes were silver and sparkly. Perfect. I also finally invested in some real grown up makeup with the MUCH appreciated help of Bella. Back at the hotel I mingled with some friends before getting ready for the Vendor’s Fair. I wore tight jeans and a tank top. I was feeling very happy with my new haircut and all. Looking good puts me in a good mood.
The first person I met was Eve Howard. She is a sweetheart in person. I was honored to have been invited to vend with Clare Fonda at this party and headed over to her table right away. I set up my small binder of DVDs from Scotland and we got started selling the stock we had.
Emily Jane was wearing a hot little white one piece jumper and I simply could not stop touching her bum. As soon as the rest of the SL crowd was allowed in we started selling. Both our DVDs flew off the table and we happily signed each and every copy – and even gave out some spankings as well.
At one point we said we would kiss if someone bought both DVDs…but he walked away! Oops! I was also able to sell some of the Northern Spanking DVDs. If you’d like any, let me know and I’ll tell you what titles I have!!!
Tom aka Wood Paddles stopped by from his table where he was vending his hand made paddles. They are such an excellent quality. He brought me some toys I had been eager to aquire. See, Tom makes something we call a “C-Strap”. Hot damn! This has got to be my favorite toy ever! It’s the perfect amount of thud and feels great!
Taking a break from vending, I headed around the tables to meet and greet. It was SUCH a pleasure to meet Veronica and Dr. D. They are such a nice real couple! Veronica was very sweet and made me blush with her compliments! I was flattered! I also bought one of their t-shirts from them.
The first table I stopped at to buy from was Kitty’s Paddles. I, thankfully, was able to snag her last cocobola paddle. Yay!
I also headed over to the Amateur Spankings table and met Gary and Philly and Amber – people who I had chatted with before and I was eager to meet. I stopped by and introduced myself to Dallas as the one who had seen her first spanking video at the age of 13 and it just happened to be one of his! 🙂
Meeting Pixie was great. I think she’s more cute in person! She was a sweetie. We didn’t get to talk much but I am sure we will connect through e-mail.
Many many people introduced themselves, including one who said she had wanted to meet me more than anyone after reading my posts on here and my blog! I am flattered! Ah! So sweet.
During the vending there was some spanking at our table. I spanked Clare, and Emily Jane. Emily Jane spanked me. Clare’s partner and cameraman who I’ll call D because I don’t know if he wants his name here, spanked me. And I spanked Clare and Emily at the same time!
So there you have it, the first Shadow Lane party report I ever wrote. This years, will come next, and will probably be quite different. While I think I can always keep improving, I think the person I am now is way better, cooler, nicer, happier and more fun than the person I was 5 years ago.
Really, I went to two parties last night. The first was the annual SSNY holiday party. It was a great party with a great crowd – a really awesome turn out. There were a lot of new faces, and a lot of out of town guests which is always nice to see. I brought my chocolate cake and the pumpkin pie and both seemed to go over well. I played once with an old friend, and it was nice. I played last week during a Thanksgiving trip visiting a spanko friend (I’ll write more about that tomorrow for Day 5!) but before that my last spanking was in late October. It was a nice spanking. Just what I needed. And not more than I can take. Although, it did leave me wanting a bit more of his belt. Perhaps a play date in the near future.
After the SSNY party, I headed downtown for a friends birthday. It was at this great bar near Wall Street on a street you can’t drive down because it’s narrow and cobblestoned. Truly fantastic, makes me wish I got to see NYC back in the days when all streets were cobblestone! Much alcohol was consumed – hard cider and shots and it was really awesome to see one of my best friends from massage school. It was her boyfriend whose birthday we were celebrating. I didn’t get home until nearly 4am so it’s a good thing I blogged Day 3 before the fun started last night! I slept in, was lazy and went and had a massage from a friend earlier today. It was fantastic. We trade, and I’ll get her back tomorrow.
Anyway, I don’t have a ton more to say – except that my roommate is a little crazy. He’s a good guy though so it’s not really bad crazy. Just a bit…OCD.
I am blogging from the car! I didn’t want to miss a day of course, so I frantically installed the WordPress app on my phone so I could tell you all about my day. My first official Saturday not working since I quit one of my jobs – where I worked on Saturdays. I played more Glitch and then finally got together my laundry. I’ve needed to do laundry for over a week but I only washed what I needed for the next few days. Ever do that? I like doing laundry but it’s just harder when it’s not in my home. It’s only on the corner but well…it’s outside. But I did it! And I had cinnamon Cheerios for lunch.
Isn’t my blog so exciting?! I’m on the way to SSNY then out for a friends birthday so I’m sure once I rouse tomorrow I’ll have lots to tell you all!!
Day 2…hrm. It’s just after 10 so I’m glad I remembered to blog! I had a really lazy day. Too lazy. I played Glitch most of the day with odd bursts of cleaning. Then I went out to the bank and walked for a bit and bought baking supplies. Cooling in my kitchen currently is a pumpkin pie, a strawberry cake (it will have cream cheese icing) and a chocolate cake (will have chocolate icing). I am going to bring them to the annual SSNY holiday party which is tomorrow night here in NYC. It should be fun. I think this marks 3 years of parties. Which is pretty awesome. They bring in great crowds of people.
And there is spanking. But I am feeling odd towards spanking lately. Until a month ago, I had been dating someone for 7 months. It was the longest and most serious I’d gotten with anyone since Max – which was a long time ago. The breakup was (and still is a little) hard, but we’re managing to stay pretty close friends anyway. I tried dating a bit, but decided that I think I need to be single for a while. The relationship showed me just how important special the intimacy (both sex and spanking) truly is to me.
When I turned 18, I let anyone who wanted to, spank me. And I had fun. I made videos, I traveled, life was good. I still played with others when I was with Max but then after we broke up, I played almost exclusively with one or two people, or if I was seeing someone. That wasn’t bad for me, but over time I realized just how special spanking was to me. To share it with someone I cared about – loved even – and who cared about me, was the reason I wanted it. When I stopped having someone like that to do it with, it just wasn’t the same and I stopped wanting it in the same way.
And then recently, being with…..we’ll call him…um…W, made me truly truly see just how important it all was to me. I wouldn’t have classified myself as promiscuous but I was more open to exploration and casual sex a year ago. And by casual sex, I don’t mean random one night stands, I mean with someone I wasn’t in a committed relationship with. Now, it’s different. If I can’t have it all, I don’t want any of it. Or I want it very specifically.
So lately, instead of craving a spanking, I crave the whole thing. The dominance, submission, the ritual, the spanking itself, the before, the during, the after. It’s very difficult for me to just play with someone these days. It’s also hard for me to even play with people I love and trust as friends, mentors, etc.
A few weeks ago at the SSNY party I played and flirted with a very nice spanko guy who was here on business for the week. I enjoyed the spanking and playfulness, but clearly was more into him than he was to me. It’s made me really question playing casually. Because spanking has turned into so much more, and even the playful ones need to be with people I at least know and trust a bit.
I’m rather conflicted these days. Who knows when it’ll end/resolve/unconflict.
For now…I have a pumpkin pie to eat and two cakes to ice. And a beer to finish.