New Experiences

Explorations in D/s

Well, as you know by now if you’ve been keeping up with me here, or on Fetlife, or even some of you on Facebook, I’m in a relationship with someone…not so new anymore! Though it’s hard to believe it’s been less than 5 months! He’s totally into spanking and butts and everything butt, if you get my drift. It’s fantastic. However, he’s not super domly dom. That’s ok though, because I don’t need/want/like to be micromanaged. I don’t want rules and to have them documented as I break them. Are there things I want to be spanked for in a more serious way? Sure. The spanking I got this past Monday for being kind of crabby and rude when D went out of his way to meet me for drinks, is an example. My mood was off, I wasn’t being nice, and on our pit stop home, he told me to take my leggings down and then promptly pulled me across his lap. It sucked because my butt was cold! Cold butt spankings are the worst! It wasn’t long and it wasn’t brutal but it got the point across and did wonders for my mood (and warmed me up, ha!). I like scenes like that.

Anyway, most of our spanking interactions are mock-serious and/or sexy. One of my favorites, that I hadn’t experienced until now? Being spanked for touching myself.

Yep.

Masturbating.

It started out more playfully. The first time was super hot because it was unexpected. I pranced off to our room in the cabin we were staying in, to use my hitachi. He knew what I was doing but a few minutes into it he barged in, shocked, and startled me! I thought he was really mad. I quickly knew he wasn’t for serious mad, and then it was hot. He sat down and said something along the lines of now I had to finish with him watching. Then he spanked me, rather hard. Then he told me what naughty girls who touch themselves without permission get.

Can you guess?

Really?

Maybe?

Ok, they get their bottoms errrr filled. Usually with a glass Crystal Delights plug, but sometimes other things! I’m not going into tons of details but there was that! And then some other fun. But holy jesus it was hot.

So it became A Thing. And now it’s Totally A Thing All The Time. At first it was only that I had to ask permission to come if he was there. Then while he was out of town for Christmas, it was always. Since he was so far away, it made us feel a little more connected. Now, I have to ask for permission always! And last night I didn’t. I slipped on a thong (his second favorite kind of panties) and stuck my butt in the air a lot until he gave me some attention. It happened so fast I didn’t have time to ask. Oops! This glass toy I have though…it just…it’s hard to remember to ask.

I did show him how very sorry I was, though. I am, after all, a good girl. Most of the time!

Recently I got a far more fun punishment. Being “punished” for sexual things is just so damn hot. I’ll leave that one to your imagination.

– M

Categories: Life, New Experiences, relationships, Sexy Times, Spanking | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rope & Photos

I really love rope. I really have so very very little experience with it. Yes, I know. Sad face! But I also love to model and have my photos taken. Recently JT and I did a little shoot that was mostly nudes and then some rope. I cannot wait to see them and show D ūüôā he’s gonna love em! I love that I can be myself and completely unrestricted in photos. At the same time, they’re poses, but they’re me. It’s hard to describe. I hated videos because it felt like I had to act and if you’ve ever seen any of my videos, I am so sorry! I’m a terrible actress! But photos? I love them. Here’s a candid shot from the rope shoot that I snapped with my phone.

photo

The rope was the color of the month from Twisted Monk. I don’t think it has a special name but they’ve added it to their regular stock so you can get it here. It’s great quality and the color is amazing. The first rope I ever bought! The photos we took this week were posed – the shots were just for the photos, it wasn’t a play session. But I hope to explore rope more with D or JT perhaps, in the future. It’s fun and sexy!

– M

Categories: New Experiences, Photography, Rope | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

2013…Looking back on January – August

Well, 2014 is quickly approaching. It’s interesting to look back on the year. Facebook certainly helps a lot, but old texts, blog post drafts, etc. also help. There’s a monthly run down after the jump…pictures included!

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Categories: Lemons, Life, New Experiences, Parties, relationships, Rope, Spanking, Vanilla | Leave a comment

*thunk*

That was the sound of me falling asleep and falling onto the floor.

The last three months have been INTENSE. My semester was only 12 weeks the way my school does it, with a 6 week session coming up in Jan/Feb, but I was loaded. I was taking five classes (General Psych, Eng 101, Critical Thinking, Community Health, and Freshman Seminar) and I acquired an extra job mid-semester which brought my total up to four. I work in two locations, have my own private practice (although, I don’t see a ton of clients that way), and I am now a writing tutor.

Between all of that and my newfound social life, I’ve had an exhausting – but amazing – fall. The payout will be worth it though. Even with a probably B+ in one of my classes, I will still likely have a 3.8. This is good because I am hoping to transfer to a four year school sooner, rather than later, and I’ve got an ivy-league on my list!

The semester is finally over and I have one last week of tying up loose ends with finals and my on campus job, then it’s a few weeks off from school work. Understated (this is what we’ll be referring to the boy as…or D) leaves soon to go back to where he’s from to take care of some things and visit family for Christmas. It’s going to be very difficult to be without him for 3 weeks but he is home just in time for NYE and we have a mini-getaway planned for my birthday that weekend.

Last night was the annual SSNY Christmas party and it was a lot of fun. I was a little saddened that a few people I wanted to play with, didn’t ask or told me a variation of “maybe later” and didn’t follow up. It was our first party together so that made it a bit of a learning experience for us both – not bad, just navigating waters that I haven’t been in for a very long time (since Max, really). I am sore after playing with, of course, Understated, an amazing English gentleman, a new friend I met a few months ago who is in the states for an internship (we’ll call him…V), and last but not least, Rad.

I thoroughly enjoyed all the play I got, but shyness + social anxiety is making me overthink the party and wonder why so few people asked me to play.

For now, I am going to go to sleep. D and I spent the day out by having brunch, going to Barnes & Noble, the Union Square Holiday Market, and the Strand. We then went home where I cooked dinner. Then he spanked me quite hard with the hairbrush and I cried.

I’ll leave the rest of the evening up to your imagination!

– Marie

Categories: Lemons, Life, New Experiences, Parties, relationships, Spanking | Leave a comment

Reading The Ethical Slut, Part 1.1

Normally, I’m a quick reader. I made it through nearly all of the Harry Potter books with non-stop 24 hour reading. I’ve never been a big fan of non-fiction, however, as my reading needs to slow down so comprehension goes up. It took me a few days to make it through the first six chapters, also Part 1, of The Ethical Slut. That said, I really enjoyed it and I can’t wait to move on to Part 2. The general message of the first six chapters is the who and what regarding ethical sluthood. I starred quotes and passages that really stood out to me, so the format I will take, is to share one, then talk about it. The first passage is from chapter 1 in the section titled “Sexual Adventurers”

“We see ourselves as people who are committed to finding a place of sanity with sex and¬†relationships¬† and to freeing ourselves to enjoy sex and sexual love in as many ways as may fit for reach of us. We may not always know what fits without trying it on, so we tend to be curious and adventurous. When we see someone who intrigues us, we like to feel free to respond, and, as we explore our response, to discover whatever is special about this new, fascinating person. We life relating to people and are quite gregarious, enjoying the company o different kinds of people, and reveling in how our differences expand our horizons and offer us new ways to be ourselves” (pg 5-6)

This stood out because it’s a mindset I’ve struggled with in past relationships. Being monogamous has meant there were more limits on how and when I could explore another fascinating person – especially within the kink world. I love surrounding myself with such an array of people – my friends don’t fit into a neat little mold of all being from the same place or being into the same things.¬†The majority of my scene friends in relationships or marriages, are ok with their partners playing non-sexually. That is, spanking or BDSM play that does not include intercourse or genital touching. I’ve always wanted to take my spanking play further, with specific partners who were open to it. For me, I had never done that outside of a committed monogamous relationship, so it seemed odd. Society said that wasn’t proper behavior for a respectable lady. It’s a line of thought I grew up with. Then, once I was in a relationship, maybe that partner wasn’t interested in exploring the exact same thing I was. Then it was the flip side – someone “in a relationship” doesn’t have needs met outside of that relationship – or so I’d always been told/taught to think.

This brings me to part of the reason why I decided to read The Ethical Slut and start this re-teaching of myself. I met someone over the summer who I just think is the coolest person ever. I also remember that one of the first things I said to him was “Oh, I’m not poly” when he asked if I was going to a local event called Poly Cocktails. It was my default reaction. I’ve been thinking about what I said since then. Why was I so quick to point it out? Perhaps out of fear; fear of something that my upbringing and society told me wasn’t going to make me happy.

In the last several months, though, I’ve been thinking more and more – hey maybe it COULD make me happy. If I stop limiting myself, and start enjoying the people in my life for what and who they are. I’d love to be someone’s priority, but I need to re-evaluate what that means. Being someone’s priority doesn’t mean being their ONLY priority, and vice versa.

In chapter two, The Ethical Slut spoke about the shame and taboo that is often associated with sex. I wasn’t brought up with any specific religious teachings and my mom didn’t push¬†abstinence¬† we mostly didn’t talk about sex at all. I thought I was a freak when I started masturbating at the age of 6 and then when I realized I was kinky, I was horrified of myself. Then I found the internet. I feel like this quote would be more appropriate for someone else, but I identify with it a bit.

“But human nature will win out. We are horny creatures, and the more sexually repressive a culture becomes, the more outrageous its covert sexual thoughts and behaviors will become, as any fan of Victorian porn can attest.” (pg 10)

I think that the concept of love for many, is one I already practice. I find it’s difficult for me to NOT have love for people I spend a lot of time with. Typically, if I am choosing to spend time with someone, it’s because I like them. I see them as an asset to my life, and I’d like to think I am to theirs as well. I definitely love my friends. Some of the males, a bit more romantically. That doesn’t mean I’m in love with them. That said, I’ve always assumed that’s how everyone felt about “just friends” but it’s not. The people I consider “just friends” by societies definition, are more along the line of¬†acquaintances. The rest of my friends are more like BFFs who I’d do anything for. Why would I spend my time with anyone else? I wouldn’t have known poly if it hit me in the face.

No one in my life could explain it to me, even now. No one would even know what I was talking about – or they would think I was crazy, trying to do something so completely unconventional. This is probably what stood out the most from Part 1 for me.

“We are pacing new roads across new territory. We have no culturally approved Scripts for open sexual lifesryles; we need to write out own. To write your own script requires a lot of effort, and a lot of honesty, and is the kind of hard work that brings many rewards. You may find the right way for you, and three years from now decide you want to live a different way — and that’s fine. You write the script, you get to make the choices, and you get to change your mind, too.” (pg 11)

So, we’re all winging it. Figuring it out as we go along. And I’m no different. I’ve known one “way of life” for the last 24 years, and more recently in my adult dating life, 6 years. There is so much more that stood out to me in reading Part 1 but this post is a great intro and covers a lot of important things for me, so I’m going to tie it up here and talk about the rest in Part 1.2.

– Marie

Categories: Lemons, Life, New Experiences, poly, polyamory, relationships, Spanking, Vanilla | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment